Mattox Live

I feel like every time I blog, I start out with some sort of lamenting about how busy life is and not having time to write and blah, blah, blah. So I would like to apologize right off the bat for the fact that I’m starting that way all over again.

Life’s been busy.

The fact is, yesterday was Easter and it was hardly on my radar going into it. The week before Easter was probably one of the most different weeks I’ve had in a long time. Saturday felt like Wednesday. Wednesday felt like Sunday. I worked Monday and Tuesday. My husband was home Friday night and we actually had a date night on Thursday. Oh and I flew to Texas on Saturday, which pretty much never happens because mid-week flights are usually so much cheaper. So all that being said, I could hardly accept it was Sunday much less EASTER Sunday.

Ironically, up until the last week, though, I was trucking along about as prepared for Easter as I could be.

Last Sunday, I was wiped out from working the night before, traveling earlier that week, and handling various home responsibilities. I wanted to just be in PJs all day and do as little as possible. I knew the Cathedral in Nashville has Sunday evening mass, but the pull of my couch was strong. I had an internal struggle for awhile. I’m tired. I don’t want to drive into downtown Nashville four days in a row. My feet hurt. Palm Sunday is one of my favorite Sundays of the entire year. I love keeping palms on my dashboard, and I could use a fresh palm. It’s mass, and I like going to mass.

But more than anything what got me moving: I was willing to drive an hour to eat a burrito that Friday, but I didn’t want to drive 40 minutes to go to CHURCH? What?

So I got dressed, and I headed to church. I actually got there early: a good thing because the cathedral ended up being PACKED.

I had been the reader of The Passion on Palm Sunday countless times years past, which is a big part of why I love it so much. But that night? That night it just meant more as it was read with a conviction I hadn’t heard in the past… a conviction even I didn’t read it with! And the sermon just hit me and it meant more. And I was ready for Easter.

Then life happened again.

Easter mass was wonderful, though. The priest asked the congregation how many were “CEOs” … Christmas & Easter Only. I laughed at that, and I’m totally stealing that from now forward.

I’m not a “CEO” but it is really easy to let the rest of the world take the lead and attending church quickly slide into the, “Oh if I have time” category.

For many people actually going to church is not how they find or live their faith, and those two main holidays are enough. Organized religion doesn’t fit every believer, nor is there any one-size-fits-all religion. I respect everyone’s approach to their faith. I even respect those who are staunchly atheist. All I have ever asked is that my personal faith and choice of religion be equally respected.

My faith is important to me. It is my compass, and I feel this sense of loss when I don’t get to go for one reason or another. Mass is my time to shut out the noise of the world for awhile. To not only get back in touch with my faith in God, but to get back in touch with myself. To bring my focus around to what is most important. Somehow, a majority of the time, whatever the sermon and focus of the mass is, it fits wherever I am in life. And if I will just be still and listen, I will get the answers and peace that I need at that time.

Easter definitely brought me a sense of joy and peace yesterday, and I left knowing that if I will focus on keeping my faith first… no matter how busy or crazy life gets, everything else will fall in line just fine.